Reflections: Losing a loved one

It was only a little after 9 p.m. on Saturday night but I was already deep in sleep on my queen size bed after listening to a group of high school debaters choose which side to be on between urbanization and keeping the Bluegrass lands sacred. I needed my rest after that 8-hour stint of parental duties as a judge. While I was dreaming of anything but debate competitions, my teenage daughter brought me the phone and had to shake me until I woke up enough to say hello.

Waking up was the beginning of the nightmare that would change the life of my family and many others. The person on the other end of the phone was one of our former youth kids. I have talked to this young man plenty of times before about girls, life and our beliefs so it wasn't unusual for him to be calling. In all honesty, my mind thought it was the middle of the night instead of late in the evening because that seemed to be the time he wanted to talk and he knew I would get up, drink my diet coke and listen. But this time, it wasn't about teenage crushes or teenage pranks.

He started screaming in my ear "We need to talk", so I told him anything honey, what's wrong. He came back with a shrill in his voice filled with fear and agony that I had never heard before saying that his sister had been in a car accident and he wanted to know how long it would take me to get to the hospital. Repeatedly he screamed that it was bad, bad, really bad. In my mind I was thinking he was overreacting, that it had just been a fender bender but that all changed when he told me that the positive news was EMS had found a pulse.

At this time I was frantically going through my house with no shoes on, no glasses and trying not to hyperventilate while I was on the phone with him. He was after all only 17 years old and dealing with a tragic situation. Before I got off the phone with him, I told him I was leaving the house and I would be there in a few hours but to update me on my cell phone as I drove.

See it was only a year earlier that our family decided to move over an hour away from them. It was a job that took us away but it was also for us to spend more quality time with our own two kids and each other. The youth kids at our church was our life for a long time so leaving didn't mean letting them out of their lives, it just meant more miles between us. The two kids in the youth group that touched our lives the most and continued to touch our lives were Samantha and Jeremy. A brother and sister duo that was intelligent, loving and had the ability to reach out to people and treat them like family. Both of these kids were full of life, excitement and knowledge beyond their years. We were supposed to be the teachers but they taught us so much about faith, living with adversity and loving even through the hard times.

I rushed downstairs to get my husband and kids together, and we made our way to the car. My husband was doing better than expected but it was probably because I wasn't doing very well. Samantha and Jeremy were like our kids and at that moment all I could think of was one was hurt physically and the other was hurt emotionally. Not knowing where she was or how bad the situation made for a very long car ride, with cell phones going off and tears starting to pour down each of our faces. About a half hour into the ride, we received a phone call letting us know that the air care route had been changed to a hospital closer to us. We turned around and started back until another phone call came through. This time it was a friend from our old town, she asked me if I had heard about the wreck. I said yes and that we were heading to the hospital.

That is when she told me to stop the car that Samantha didn't make it, that she had died on the scene before air care could arrive. Crying and breathing heavy I told her she was mistaken and that I would have to call Jeremy to find our for sure. Calling him was the hardest call I've made in my life. His cell phone rang a few times, then he picked up. All I said was his name and he started crying letting me know she had indeed died and he didn't know what to do or how to handle it. This time I had no direction for him because I didn't' know what to do or how to handle it.

Sitting in a gas station parking lot on the side of a busy street I felt my heart break into a hundred tiny little pieces. Grieving for Samantha and her family and missing her even though she had only been gone a few minutes. Through the tears I asked my husband to take us home, and somehow told my children what had happened. Samantha was not only our youth kid, she was like our other daughter, my daughters friend and my sons former Sunday school teacher. Loosing her was taking a chunk out of each of our hearts.

My husband took on the mission of explaining to our eight year old why GOD took Samantha to heaven and why we knew she was there. He let him know how her faith was strong and that she led a life that was centered around Christ and bringing people to know him like she did. There was no doubt in our minds or hearts where she had gone. Still it is never easy to explain these concepts to young children or to the hearts of adults. Loosing such a vibrant, outstanding young lady was something that only GOD could get us through.

It wasn't fair kept ringing through my mind like a little child throwing a tantrum. None of us understood why GOD had chosen to take such a beautiful, intelligent and wise 18 year old. She was one of those kids who would take on a challenge and win, but this time it seemed too much for her little body to fight.

She was Valedictorian of her graduating class only a few short months prior to the accident. She fought to stay on top, and won with a 4.094 grade point average. We were so proud of her that day when she walked down the aisle with the golden sash around her neck. She was also in college via a scholarship to become a nurse. Such patience and understanding she had while going to school and working part time at the local nursing home. It was her calling to help people, young and old alike. In her spare time she attended church with her friends on campus and on weekends with her fiance. Being in a relationship with someone who believed in GOD was very important to her, and only a few days prior she had called to let me know she was moving closer to GOD herself. She had recently joined a campus ministry and felt GOD come into her heart and fill it up with spirit, excitement and joy. That is where her fight and biggest achievement came in because most kids fell to peer pressure but not Samantha. Her ministry was probably the thing that made us the proudest. She just had it in her heart that everyone she met would also know the GOD whom she loved and loved her back.

Samantha will be in our hearts forever even though she wasn't on earth very long. All she ever wanted to do was help people and leave a mark on society. I believe she did. At her layout it took over 3 hours to stand in line to say goodbye. Over a thousand people came out on a cold, fall evening to say their respects and let her know she was loved. At her funeral the following day, roughly 700 people sat and listened as loved ones shared stories about Samantha, her life and her faith. Her campus minister assured everyone that Samantha had chosen GOD and that she was now in his arms, safe from anymore harm. This was comforting since to Christians Heaven is the goal. By the end of the service I had realize that Sam had won the fight, just not on earth. She had won by keeping her faith strong and trying to live a Christ centered life instead of a worldly one.

Pride isn't a strong enough word to describe what I feel inside when I get to tell people I knew her, loved her and was a small part of her life.

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